Amalthea (amaltheae) wrote,
Amalthea
amaltheae

  • Mood:
  • Music:

Life and death and love.

Dear Grandmother,

I just wanted you to know that I love you and I’m worried about you and hope those doctors are treating you well. I heard from my mother that they’ve found liver cancer and things aren’t looking very good.

I don’t know if I can get back there at the moment because we’re so broke, but I so wish I could come see you again. I feel like we barely had any time at Christmas. And I guess it’s made me want to say some things that I’ve never managed to say before because it just didn’t seem like the time.

I want you to know that you have always been one of my heros. No matter what terrible things life threw at you, you’ve always had the strength to go on, despite the pain. And you have known a love that I think most of the world fails even to begin to comprehend. The sort of love between you and Brees that defies struggles, hard times and sicknesses. The kind of love that refuses to give up and will live on well beyond either of your years in my heart as something I have been honored to see and experience. It will live on as something to work for so that I can show my grandchildren that it is still possible to work through the hard times and love each other through the seemingly impossible without giving up, as you have shown me.

My life is a little less that traditional in some ways, but in this, I very much hope to continue growing enough to make it the same. I may have two people in my life, but the reason I can make that work is that I have had a glimpse of what it means to love beyond sense of self and constraints of body. More than anyone else, I learned that from you two.

And I haven’t told the rest of the family yet, but Joel and Deb and I made a lifetime commitment to one another recently, and that was a decision that didn’t come easily to me, because I have wanted for a very long time to say that I learned from watching you and had waited to find a love with a chance of growing as yours has throughout your lives. I wanted a love that I was sure that I would not give up on as so many people do today. Since this country won’t recognize a marriage between three people, Joel and I got legally married and we all made our promises to one another. At some point here we want to celebrate with family and friends and a public announcement and I want the story of your lives and your inspiration to be a part of that celebration.

I hoped that we would have the money and could maybe even do the celebration in Kansas so that you could attend, but it’s going to be a while before money works itself out in our lives, probably. Whatever is meant to be, will be. But I hope that you will attend in spirit if it’s no longer possible to do so in body. And I want you to know that I love you and wish you peace and happiness and that I have been honored to have you in my life.

I’m including some song lyrics and a copy of a song that have always made me think of you and grandfather as something that could well have been part of your story and the love between you that has so inspired me.


Collin Raye – “Love Me”

I read a note my grandma wrote back in nineteen twenty-three.
Grandpa kept it in his coat, and he showed it once to me. He said,
"Boy, you might not understand, but a long, long time ago,
Grandma's daddy didn't like me none, but I loved your Grandma so."

We had this crazy plan to meet and run away together.
Get married in the first town we came to, and live forever.
But nailed to the tree where we were supposed to meet, instead
Of her, I found this letter, and this is what it said:

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.

I read those words just hours before my Grandma passed away,
In the doorway of a church where me and Grandpa stopped to pray.
I know I'd never seen him cry in all my fifteen years;
But as he said these words to her, his eyes filled up with tears.

If you get there before I do, don't give up on me.
I'll meet you when my chores are through;
I don't know how long I'll be.
But I'm not gonna let you down, darling wait and see.
And between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.
Between now and then, till I see you again,
I'll be loving you. Love, me.


Love always,

Amy
Subscribe
  • Post a new comment

    Error

    default userpic

    Your IP address will be recorded 

    When you submit the form an invisible reCAPTCHA check will be performed.
    You must follow the Privacy Policy and Google Terms of use.
  • 0 comments