Deb and I talked last night about my entry in which I said that things had been dramatically better the night before. She had said that she appreciated me mentioning that she had pulled the evening together. She appended this, carefully, with the statement that saying "you did great! Now let's see if it lasts..." was totally something her father did instead of ever giving a simple compliment, thus undermining any compliment he might make before you could enjoy it. We talked some about the fact that there was a difference between saying something TO someone, and sharing your own fears in a public place where they have the opportunity to read about them, and that while it had, in a way, been a compliment it was not written as one to her rather than descriptive of my emotional state at the time. It was written as relief and my emotional expression of my current feelings. She understood that to be the case but was also hinting (if saying "I know I'm needing a ridiculous amount of aknowledgement on the subject, but..." can be called a "hint") that she would really like a compliment TO her instead of accidentally about her with other fears attached. So here it is:
Thank you, Deb, for busting your ass to change things. I am finding hope again and you deserve credit for making most of that possible. Conversation even seems like it was more balanced which probably means that you and Joel both deserve some kudos for woking on that piece, and I did notice and appreciate it immensely. I believe in you and I love you.