It occured to me that I think we've overthought the whole "initiating cleaning" problem. I complained to our counselor Debann that I hated always having to run the show and being expected to organize but being resented for it, etc. So we've jumped through a variety of hoops, tried lists, tried chore charts, various divisions of things, star charts, etc and the basic answer is that none of those have worked because our maintenance skills suck ass, and we all have a hard time pulling ourselves away from tasks, people, etc, to get to the not fun stuff at the end of the task switching, unless we're all doing it at the same time and can draw energy from working together and getting it over with so it isn't always looming.
So the one thing we never really tried was rotating whose job it is to initiate and run "cleaning night" and delegate and check things against original goals, etc. So I think I'm going to try to capture what I mean by "run cleaning night" in words in such a way that we can all try taking turns at running it instead of getting further and further from something that almost worked into things that really aren't working at all and are mostly pissing everyone off in one way or another. I suspect them getting to drag it out of everyone a few times will dramatically change their own willingness to try to have a good attitude about things.