October 28th, 2003

(no subject)

Last night was pretty good too. Thank you Deborah. She wasn't even feeling very good, but she managed to negotiate about that fact and various things that needed to happen before coming home and falling apart or anything, so Joel was in charge of food while she and I put away her clothes and worked on official documents and such. Afterward she and I hot tubbed and that I went to bed. There was no drama! Deb thanked me for making it okay that she didn't feel good, but actually, I think the difference was that she said "I don't feel good and I don't want that to make the evening fall apart, but I'm probably not up to everything on my list, help?" instead of "it's impossible" which is often what it sounds like by the time she says something when she's already home and ready to cry.

Joel is frustrated with me because he wants me to tell him what to do about laundry today, and I'm still in the "you don't want me to go there" camp, because I'm still pissed that he hasn't ever apologized but it's still my job to hold his hand and make it happen. He is seeming to get to admitting that he was wrong by talking himself down from whatever cocky "I was going to shower, but..." sort of statement that seems to imply that it is my fault he didn't do so. He said he was frustrated that he was trying to fix it but I wasn't being helpful. It made it clear that he really didn't yet understand WHAT he needed to be fixing, so I told him to go read my journal if he wanted more information about my reaction on the subject.