March 22nd, 2004

A little of this and that.


I have seen a couple of articles at this point that explain how allowing gay marriage will lead to allowing polygamy and polyandry to be legalized. The clear hypothesis is that this is a reason not to allow gay marriage to happen, because, God forbid, someone might then love more than one person!

Yes, ladies and gentlemen. Gay marriage: the gateway drug of the future. If we legalize gay marriage, we will be paving the way to such heinous behavior as polygamy which will guarantee this is a nation of nothing but crack smugglers and harems.

The sad thing is that I am not sure whether the concept of a gateway civil right is a more ridiculous statement about the fight against gay marriage or the “drug war” in this country. It’s a toss up really. Both phenomenons are pretty much equally sad.

We’ve decided to shoot ourselves in the foot rather than make money on the drugs that people are going to use anyway by attempting to deny them out of existence and throw more money at our fears of them. And now, we’ve decided to try to make something that some people find disgusting and threatening to their manhood a symbol to the masses that they better not do anything with their tongues and dicks that anyone else might be appalled by of we will try every bizarre thing we can, including raping the constitution of its purpose, in order to prevent this vile intellectual concept from being available to the children we are still trying to pretend aren’t gay. Because, you know, it worked so well when we grounded our child from the phone but weren’t there to even see if they used it, so, surely, if we can make irritating proclamations about what they aren’t allowed in this case, that will work great to, despite having no possible way to actually ensure that our sons aren’t sucking dick.

People, you are feeling threatened because you can’t make other people’s choices for them. Would you create a constitutional amendment to prevent your neighbor from buying oranges because you hate them, think they’re disgusting and don’t want anyone else to have them? It’s the same freakin’ thing. Take a deep breath and resign yourself to the fact that there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING YOU CAN DO TO PREVENT YOUR DAUGHTER FROM LICKING PUSSY IF SHE REALLY WANTS TO, SHORT OF KILLING HER, and then who would be the perpetrator of the most disgusting behavior, if you did? There are thing beyond your control and impossible to police in this world and things that you do that someone else somewhere find utterly repulsive. Move on.

There is a phrase that my very Baptist mother used to misunderstand when she waved it at me. Let go and let God. In this phrase I believe you will find the only answer God really wants. Stop pretending you are God and let God do his job. He, if in fact he exists, is far more competent than you and didn’t call you long distance to ask for your help. And if he doesn’t exist, you are simply legislating your own taste in a cruel fashion that you should be ashamed of.

In other political news, the feds are considering trying to increase the draft age in the cases of people who have valuable skills such as computer skills and scientists, etc. Um, guys? If the moral ground you’re standing on is so weak that the gifted portion of this society would never in a million years volunteer to help you of their own volition, do you really think it is a good idea to piss them off by telling them they have no choice and then handing them the keys to the nation? They can do more harm to your organization from that desk than you could with an automatic weapon and a security clearance. BAD IDEA.

On a completely unrelated topic, I have finally figured out why we are being subjected to the onslaught of nicey-nice Kaiser ads in Denver. They have to introduce the doctors over the radio to millions of people because if you are actually a Kaiser customer, you may or may not ever actually meet them. And if you do, they will be under strict orders to send you away to die as often as possible, and if they can’t get away with that, then they are only allowed 20 words total with you, so they have to skip introductions. They want us to know what nice skilled people they are so that we will sue Kaiser instead of them when the fact that they aren’t allowed to spend any time with you means that you die of something they should have caught.

And on a more positive note, I just got back my first show entry for the year and I was accepted. Panic now! Too much to do!