January 19th, 2005

(no subject)

In other, less long winded news;

My grandfather is within hours, at longest days of dying and I am having to plan for vanishing for at an indeterminate time and for an unclear length of time. 

My mother is still furious with me that no matter how many millions of times I have told her that I can't function by phone, she chose phone as her only means of communication when her mother died in December, so I didn't find out about the funeral until three weeks after it happened when I thought to check voice mail and got the lengthy assortment of her ranting about avoiding her.  No matter how many times I try, the woman takes it personally.  In the past I have made the mistake of apologizing profusely for my limitations, which, since she is abusive has meerly encouraged her abusiveness about said limitation.  I am now refusing to apologize which is, by necessity, pissing her off more. 

We have a guest who will be at the house a few days starting Monday.  Looking forward to seeing her. 

Also found out that Deb's step grandmother who has been more grandmother to all of us than our real families has lung, esophogeal and bladder cancer, which suggests she isn't far from full system shut down from all the years of smoking that have built up in her system.  Her husband also has a spot on his lungs, but the biopsy was inconclusive. 

Three grandparents down or on their way, new meds dosses, guests and my brain being eaten by biochem means that I am a touch on the spastic side right now, so if I have in some way dropped something on the floor with any of you, that is why, and it will probably be picked back up  soon, but after a funeral and guests and such. 

In other topics, stay tuned for more practical application of my rambling dissertaion on biochem as time permits.

Also:  Something that woke me at 3am for no reason. 

Words are metaphors.  The represent a thing in a random abstraction.  Not all that hard to comprenend in and of itself.  Almost obvious.  But consider trying to express everything important to you in the metaphor of the engine of a car and its parts and function.  Challenging?  Hell yeah.  Now, use only the car metaphor but adjust for all changes over time to the automobile.  Suddenly it seems more clear why communication is so hard for people, why so many relationships fail and flounder when you must express something about the transmission to tell someone that you having troubles with change inside your head.  It can be done.  Sort of.  But it leaves a lot more wiggle room than most people think  about or aknowledge.  And the fact that all language is metaphor often multiple times removed from source data, gives you the reason it is so impossible to accomplish neutrality with it.  interpretation is all.  That is why there will never be a balance between the words of the religious and the scientists about evolution until we can prove one or the other right beyond shadow of a doubt.  That is why political correctness evolves; to distance ourselves from the intentions and feelings of people we percieve to be cruel, we adopt new, more complex metaphors for our existance. 

Think about it the next time that "Honey, you forgot to take out the trash" escalates without warning to your spouse to "Why in hell is it that you never complete anything I tell you to do?"  Your metaphor has changed.  But I would bet you money he's stuck looking for the cliff notes. 

(no subject)

Oh, and the funeral I missed? 

This is the best part of all the chaos.  I am talking to my sister and she tells me;

Apparently the funeral I missed; my mother didn't want to pay to have the body flown to AK. So she bought a falling apart trailer with which to haul the body and other crap she was taking back there behind my grandmother's old car (cadilac style). Car wasn't designed for trailer. Somewhere in random Oklahoma she burned out the transmission.  The couldn't get parts until Monday, so she rented a truck and had to move all of the contents of the trailer to the truck and get back under way, making her late for the funeral itself, which of course couldn't go on without a body.  Gloria and her sister both play the martyr in escallatingly ridiculous drama with one another and about one another's choices, but were kept separate save for the funeral, preventing the destruction of the planet by nuclear fall out.

But everyone was crammed into the small truck, pissed off and tired from repacking everything, to head on down the road. She apparently continues her trend of not being able to let anyone else make a decision. The original idea was that they would stop in Kansas (with the body?!) and see my grandfather who is now dying, but because of transmission blow out and repacking time, they can no longer do so. So everyone tries to convince Gloria to go back through leavenworth on the way home, leaving a day earlier, but getting to see Jerry's father before he dies one more time. She argues all day until the point is mute for timing reasons and then finally gives in once she knows it is now impossible, even though this change of plans made more sense geographically to picking up the broken car.  The car place failed to work on it like they were supposed to, so then they had to arrange to tow a broken car and overweight trailer home.

And so, it took them so long to get to AR with all this, that it was Christmas by the time that they did, and ....wait for it....the cemetary was closed for Christmas. So they have this dead woman's body in the bed of the truck for 4 or 5 days until the cemetary will again start accepting the dead. Just. Oh. My. God.

As my sister put it. "Like I always do, I swore again never to ever share a vehicle with the woman for any road trip for any reason ever again. Which of course, I am about to break, but this is the last grandparent that can die off, so hopefully next time the swearing will stick."

And now apparently my uncle, my mother's sister's husband, tried to break into my mother's house over the weekend in part of the ongoing saga of their collective insanity.

I couldn't make this shit up.  It's just too funny.  Hillbilly hell.  It's a wonder I can function in the real world at all considering the genetic hand delt me.