My grandfather is within hours, at longest days of dying and I am having to plan for vanishing for at an indeterminate time and for an unclear length of time.
My mother is still furious with me that no matter how many millions of times I have told her that I can't function by phone, she chose phone as her only means of communication when her mother died in December, so I didn't find out about the funeral until three weeks after it happened when I thought to check voice mail and got the lengthy assortment of her ranting about avoiding her. No matter how many times I try, the woman takes it personally. In the past I have made the mistake of apologizing profusely for my limitations, which, since she is abusive has meerly encouraged her abusiveness about said limitation. I am now refusing to apologize which is, by necessity, pissing her off more.
We have a guest who will be at the house a few days starting Monday. Looking forward to seeing her.
Also found out that Deb's step grandmother who has been more grandmother to all of us than our real families has lung, esophogeal and bladder cancer, which suggests she isn't far from full system shut down from all the years of smoking that have built up in her system. Her husband also has a spot on his lungs, but the biopsy was inconclusive.
Three grandparents down or on their way, new meds dosses, guests and my brain being eaten by biochem means that I am a touch on the spastic side right now, so if I have in some way dropped something on the floor with any of you, that is why, and it will probably be picked back up soon, but after a funeral and guests and such.
In other topics, stay tuned for more practical application of my rambling dissertaion on biochem as time permits.
Also: Something that woke me at 3am for no reason.
Words are metaphors. The represent a thing in a random abstraction. Not all that hard to comprenend in and of itself. Almost obvious. But consider trying to express everything important to you in the metaphor of the engine of a car and its parts and function. Challenging? Hell yeah. Now, use only the car metaphor but adjust for all changes over time to the automobile. Suddenly it seems more clear why communication is so hard for people, why so many relationships fail and flounder when you must express something about the transmission to tell someone that you having troubles with change inside your head. It can be done. Sort of. But it leaves a lot more wiggle room than most people think about or aknowledge. And the fact that all language is metaphor often multiple times removed from source data, gives you the reason it is so impossible to accomplish neutrality with it. interpretation is all. That is why there will never be a balance between the words of the religious and the scientists about evolution until we can prove one or the other right beyond shadow of a doubt. That is why political correctness evolves; to distance ourselves from the intentions and feelings of people we percieve to be cruel, we adopt new, more complex metaphors for our existance.
Think about it the next time that "Honey, you forgot to take out the trash" escalates without warning to your spouse to "Why in hell is it that you never complete anything I tell you to do?" Your metaphor has changed. But I would bet you money he's stuck looking for the cliff notes.