This is the best part of all the chaos. I am talking to my sister and she tells me;
Apparently the funeral I missed; my mother didn't want to pay to have the body flown to AK. So she bought a falling apart trailer with which to haul the body and other crap she was taking back there behind my grandmother's old car (cadilac style). Car wasn't designed for trailer. Somewhere in random Oklahoma she burned out the transmission. The couldn't get parts until Monday, so she rented a truck and had to move all of the contents of the trailer to the truck and get back under way, making her late for the funeral itself, which of course couldn't go on without a body. Gloria and her sister both play the martyr in escallatingly ridiculous drama with one another and about one another's choices, but were kept separate save for the funeral, preventing the destruction of the planet by nuclear fall out.
But everyone was crammed into the small truck, pissed off and tired from repacking everything, to head on down the road. She apparently continues her trend of not being able to let anyone else make a decision. The original idea was that they would stop in Kansas (with the body?!) and see my grandfather who is now dying, but because of transmission blow out and repacking time, they can no longer do so. So everyone tries to convince Gloria to go back through leavenworth on the way home, leaving a day earlier, but getting to see Jerry's father before he dies one more time. She argues all day until the point is mute for timing reasons and then finally gives in once she knows it is now impossible, even though this change of plans made more sense geographically to picking up the broken car. The car place failed to work on it like they were supposed to, so then they had to arrange to tow a broken car and overweight trailer home.
And so, it took them so long to get to AR with all this, that it was Christmas by the time that they did, and ....wait for it....the cemetary was closed for Christmas. So they have this dead woman's body in the bed of the truck for 4 or 5 days until the cemetary will again start accepting the dead. Just. Oh. My. God.
As my sister put it. "Like I always do, I swore again never to ever share a vehicle with the woman for any road trip for any reason ever again. Which of course, I am about to break, but this is the last grandparent that can die off, so hopefully next time the swearing will stick."
And now apparently my uncle, my mother's sister's husband, tried to break into my mother's house over the weekend in part of the ongoing saga of their collective insanity.
I couldn't make this shit up. It's just too funny. Hillbilly hell. It's a wonder I can function in the real world at all considering the genetic hand delt me.